“Lean In,” But Not Too Far: A Reflection on Perceptions of “Competitive” Women

“Lean In,” But Not Too Far: A Reflection on Perceptions of “Competitive” Women

            If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “you’re really competitive,” Sallie Mae would be pleased to hear that my account balance has been paid in full. Over the last few months, I have heard an increased use of the term “competitive” to describe personal behaviors that might otherwise be labeled ambitious. Like any wise woman, I decided to check in with some of my friends and colleagues across the field, many of whom are women of color, to see if they had faced a similar charge. I have found that they too have felt the burden of contending with this label, and that the impact does not stop there. It has become clear that, as women, and especially women of color, we bear the brunt of working to avoid labels like “competitive” because they are often associated with coming across as strong and overbearing. Ironically, many of us have expressed feeling that we are simultaneously perceived to be inexperienced or otherwise uninformed. Though my friends and I do not encapsulate the totality of women’s experiences, and certainly not all women of color, we all share the unique distinction of being called “competitive” as a pejorative or backhanded compliment. This begs the question: how do we expect women to balance high performance and ambition with society’s need to see us as sensitive, submissive, and overly accommodating?

The issue is not with the existence of competition or the phrase you’re really competitive in and of itself. It is if and when this label is applied with a tone that suggests negative perceptions that it becomes a problem. This is particularly true for those of us who feel added pressure to recognize and respond to the ways that we are perceived by others in professional spaces due to the intersections of our identities. Competition is, then, not inherently negative. In athletics, for instance, participants of all genders are expected to be competitive, strong, and domineering. These are the traits that are most often associated with winning, and nearly everyone celebrates a winner. Yet this should not only apply to sports and sports culture.

 In a more traditional workspace, for example, the ways in which competition functions for women can be in direct conflict with the advice that we are given for moving into more prominent leadership positions. We are often told to lean in, to be bold, and dare greatly.  To do all of those things one must compete with others, but most importantly with themselves, constantly striving to be better each day than they were the day before. And yet, women can feel discouraged from moving forward with such behaviors, when they feel these actions are viewed in a negative light. For women of color, and Black women in particular who are forced to confront stereotypes of being angry or domineering, these suggestions in contemporary feminist thought add another layer to the discourse on competition. Women may certainly benefit from “The Lean In Approach” but for some us, leaning in too far may result in further negative stereotyping.

This “Lean In Approach” is the idea that women benefit from encouragement on multiple fronts to continue in their professional journeys, not backhanded discouragement as mentioned here [1].  If women stop short due to negative experiences, then they may not continue to display their competitive behaviors and may not move into senior leadership positions. Conversely, women who share in healthy competition can promote a continuously motivating environment where high performance and results are rewarded.  Dr. Paul Gaffney, Philosophy Department chair at St. John’s University, supports this notion.  Dr. Gaffney maintains that, “[competitors] provide for one another an activity that promotes the pursuit of excellence with and, to some extent, through a resistant other” [2].  If we hold this to be true, it is in our own best interest and the interests of the students we serve to facilitate a healthy competitive environment; the kind of environment that may lead women to more prominent job functions, titles, and more visibility within our organizations.

It is significant that men and women alike recognize the impact of their words, particularly those that can take on a negative connotation despite their intentions. Though this piece questions the function of competitive traits as a negative attribute and the dualities women face of balancing ambition with gendered norms, it leaves several questions, thoughts, and ideas unanswered. What is the alternative for women if being competitive takes on a negative connotation for them? Is the expectation that women be happy, quiet, and wait for the system to reward them rather than working hard while also advocating for themselves? Conversations around these issues have never been more critical.

References:

[1] Guo, Jeff. ( 2015, Januarary, 2) Why do some studies show that women are less competitive than men? The Washington Post. http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/storyline/wp/2015/01/02/why-do-some-studies-show-that-women-are-less-competitive-then-men

[2] Gaffney, Paul. (2015, Februrary, 25) “Paul Gaffney, St. John’s University – The Meaning of Competition” The Academic Minute.  http://academicminute.org/2015/02/paul-gaffney/

Brittany M. Williams

Georgia Institute of Technology

Brittany.Williams@housing.gatech.edu

@Ms_BMWilliams