A New Year, A Better You

A New Year, A Better You

Happy New Year and welcome to 2015. We are a few weeks into January with one or more weeks until February appears. Resolutions have been made and goals set. At some point, most of us have even chuckled at the “New Year, New Me” declarations surfacing throughout social media. Ultimately, that catch phrase is a byproduct of the microwave culture that we live in. Logically, the changing of a year cannot erase habits or patterns. Habits and patterns evolve, change, or stop based on our commitment to growth and care. So, as we begin to carry-out plans from 2014 and make lasting impressions into a new year, I challenge us to do this on a full tank of self-care.

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to an interview and the remarks reminded me that you cannot give to others what you do not have yourself. We hold our staffs and colleagues accountable for self-care, but do we hold ourselves equally to the same standard. Staffs and teammates take their cues from leaders and co-workers. Our illustration of self-care establishes the tone for our work space environments. Frequently choosing to work while over extended sends a mixed message on prioritization. Inattention in meetings or one on one’s for the sake of ‘multi-tasking’ chips away at the foundation of work relationships.  Also, showing up to work at half-mast or barely a 60% charge undermines the potential of the students we serve because surely I cannot ask more of them than what I provide. Essentially, every relationship including the one we have with self is at jeopardy when we do not make taking care of self a priority.

Some reading this blog entry are masters of your ship and care masters. You have care on lock and practice it in both your personal and professional lives. Others have hit or misses, which can be typical in a professional industry that is heavily lifestyle infused. Then are some that may have become accustomed to martyrdom or the ultimate self-sacrifice if you will. No matter where you stand on the topic/spectrum we can all benefit from concerted self-evaluation and commitment to being the selves that we long to be. My entry is not intended to change lives or even spark debate. I want to take this moment to reflect on some opportunities that helped curve and realign my self-care practices to create the environments and relationships that are necessary for success.

Listen

-What is your body telling you?

I studied Counseling during my Graduate School years and I can frequently hear the words of my professors and internship supervisors echoing the same thing: what are you feeling?

Our bodies tell us exactly what we need to know. None of us need a doctor to confirm when we are taking on too much for extended periods of time, not experiencing quality sleep, or absorbing toxic energy (or failing to release things that do not belong to us). These symptoms are normal wear and tear, but become problematic when we fail to acknowledge their presence as well as build lifestyles where we restore our minds/bodies.

There was a point a few years ago when I had some issues with my sleep cycle. Not gaining the sufficient rest impacted my ability to be fully present with anything. I attempted some natural opportunities and finally, I opted to check in with my physician to gain insight on a new regimen to reset my body.

-What feedback are you receiving from others?

It was important that I finally listened to my body and sought attention because my staff noticed the difference in my fully focused self-versus the version of myself running on less than a full tank of energy due to lack of sleep. It was important for me to role model for the students I supervised as well as the community in which I engaged my commitment to balance. Whether our students communicate it or not, they are watching and even mimicking our good/poor habits.

Back to the Basics

- Thoughts/Words

Nutrition and sleep are not the only ways we prohibit self-care. Our choices on thoughts and words (language) also sets atmosphere in which we work. Boundaries and assertiveness are areas where I have made substantial growth over the past five years. As I became more receptive to balance, I have learned that the best way to be good to myself is being honest and open.

In my office space, I keep instrumental, spa, or jazz music on to keep a soothing environment. Music has always been a great source of peace. There have been countless times when I had to meet with an upset individual or someone in a traumatic moment and having a soothing, warm atmosphere helped de-escalate the tension brought into my workspace.

I also speak up about the boundaries for my office with those that I come in contact. If I am mediating a conflict, there will be no name calling or profane words. If it is a staff issue or a need for privacy, I take that energy out of my office and find a safe, secure, private place where that conversation can be honored (but energy not transferred where I work).

Additionally, what I say aloud and think matters equally. Whatever thoughts I entertain will surface through words. Words have power and can shift the momentum in any environment.  I noticed that when I spoke negatively I in turn felt the weight of that energy. I also noticed that self-defeating thoughts, negativity, or complaining would attract others that enjoyed doing the same. Sounds like simple math, but if we look at ourselves and evaluate the relationships that we have do they align with our values. Are there people who bring issues, concerns, or vibes that feel unwelcome? If so, how did we let those in? Was it with our body language, verbiage, or something else? My point is we sometimes attract what we put out in the universe. In the vein of self-care, what we chose to rest our minds on or allow to roll off our tongues will greet us again if we are not careful.

Be Open for Business

-A full tank attracts opportunities. Ever notice that if you have your vehicle filled up that sometimes the phone will ring with an opportunity for an adventure. Well, the same thing is true in our work lives. Making it a point to show up daily with our optimum selves creates opportunities for great networking, new projects of interest, and even career boosting opportunities surface at our doorsteps. However, those grand moments usually do not come when we are half-mast, self-defeated, or running on fumes.

Two years ago, I attended a Housing Regional conference for the first time. I was excited to be there and took part in as many endeavors as possible. I was also recovering from a bout of bronchitis so I made sure to make it back to my room nightly for adequate rest at a decent hour on top of exercise throughout the conference. Well, the next to last day there I was tapped by my Director to sit in on a session of interest. I took great notes but also personally committed myself towards advocating for that session’s topic on my campus. Upon arriving back to campus, I made it known my interest in that topic and was allowed to chair the taskforce responsible for research. The rest is history but would have not been possible had I not been taking care of myself so that I could show up to that conference in great spirits and with an energetic stride.

Final Thought

Ultimately, if you take anything away from the commentary I shared, be the best you possible this year. Being your optimum self begins with making care of self a frequent priority. There is not another ‘you’ lying around for backup. Each year has the potential to be better than the last when are true to ourselves and others by living congruently with the institutional missions we support. That begins and ends with self-care.

Coretta L. King

corettalking@gmail.com

Twitter: @msclking