Lessons on Relationship Building from Disney's Frozen

Lessons on Relationship Building from Disney’s Frozen

Recently, I had the opportunity to watch Disney’s Frozen. Until I saw this movie, I could not understand why so many young girls, college students, and adults would erupt into singing either “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” or “Let It Go” in public. I thought to myself, “What causes so many people to momentarily “Let it Go”?

As an avid lover of musicals, I initially thought it was the catchy song lyrics performed by one of Broadway’s favorites—Idina Menzel. Like many others, I found myself, in the middle of my den, singing loud and out of tune portions of “Let It Go.” Here I stand and here I’ll stay, Let the storm rage on… I mimicked Elsa’s every move as she constructed her ice kingdom. After watching the movie several times, I realized there was something magical in Disney’s Frozen. It was the emotional connection and relationship between the movie’s two main characters, Elsa and Anna, that resonated with me.

I started thinking about my friendships. I thought about my past friendships and the relationships I needed to nurture including those at work. How about you? Do you remember the one friendship in your life that had a lasting impact? Was it a childhood friend or colleague? It is quite possible that these questions are triggering a series of emotions inside of you.

In the past, I have experienced many of these emotions and have found myself in an ice kingdom just like Elsa. I would get so irritated or frustrated with work situations and relationships that I would completely shut down. As a new professional, I wanted to speak up, but I did not know how to navigate the underlying politics. I also did not want to risk my peers and colleagues seeing me cry. As a result, I would retreat and conceal my emotions. I would go to work, shut my door, and form the walls of my imaginary ice kingdom. Meanwhile, the situations and emotional triggers kept appearing but with different faces. You may have experienced a similar season. There may have been a time in your life where unresolved conflicts created distance between you and others. Then you realized the small space you thought was temporary became your kingdom of isolation.

Emotions and relationships are powerful forces. Emotions can either affirm that something is going right or they can alert you that something is wrong. Relationships are also important in work settings. Work relationships built on trust can promote better work satisfaction and possibly propel you into the next step of your career. For some women, the challenge is learning what place emotions and professional relationships have in our careers. Should we conceal them or embrace them? Can we lead effectively while also expressing our emotions?

Frozen has a number of lessons that can be applied to our lives as we seek to grow and develop as leaders. Similar to Elsa, I became more aware of my emotions and learned how to manage relationships before I could assume my role as a leader. Here are a few strategies I utilized to break down the walls of my ice kingdom. It is my hope that these tips will also help you continue to grow as a leader:

1. Acknowledge the issues— Over the years, I have learned that conflict is not always about the other person. Sometimes, we are faced with situations in order to get something out of us. In Frozen, Elsa was no longer able to conceal her emotions when her sister, Anna, announced she was getting married to a guy she met that day. Instead of acknowledging the issue and managing her emotions, Elsa ran away in fear. Elsa’s reaction to this catalysis sent her on a quest where she gained a greater awareness of herself and how to manage her emotions. She also acquired the skills to channel the inherent power within her emotions. Like Elsa, we must be willing to acknowledge the issues, and be open to the work happening inside of us.
2. Embrace and manage your emotions—The ability to manage your emotions and relationships are key aspects in leadership. The people we lead will benefit the most when we are consistent. Although we may have a bad day, we must be aware of these emotions and not allow them to spill over into others. Emotional intelligence allows us to have a greater awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others in relationship. It also helps us become aware of emotions that help us control our impulses while leading in the workplace (Goldman, 2005).
3. Create Open Spaces—As I learned from one of my work friends, timely communication is an important part of all relationship. You cannot expect things to change if you don’t speak up. In order to have open communication, you must create open spaces. Open spaces are neutral  where you and your co-workers can discuss areas of disagreement. For example, my act of creating an open space was the simple act of keeping my office door open in the morning. The visual cue served as an invitation for my co-workers. It also was a source of liberation from my kingdom of isolation. What are some ways you can test your limits and break through and create open spaces in your work relationships?
4. Let it go!—As you encounter situations that challenge your emotions, I encourage you to think about reframing and using this as feedback to empower a process of positive change in yourself. Refuse to internalize the comments and actions of others that can lead to unforgiveness and form like ice in your heart. The relationships we have are too important, so “Let it go!” “Let it go!”

What strategies have you utilized to strengthen relationships in your workplace?

Goleman, D. (2005). Emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.

Jalonda N. Thompson

Coordinator of Exploratory Advising

The University of North Carolina at Greensboro

 jnthomp3@uncg.edu   

@JalondaThompson