A New Year’s Revolution: Working with (white) Children Toward Social Justice

Written by Dr. Mollie Monahan-Kreishman (she/her/hers pronouns)

As the New Year approaches, many of us are considering what we might pledge to do in order to improve our lives. Instead of making resolutions this year, I’m proposing a revolution! Let’s pledge to work more intentionally with (white) children toward social justice. It might very well be our best hope for local and global equity in the New Year and beyond.

We white moms with white kids need to do better. There are a lot of messages that our children intentionally and unintentionally accumulate about what the world is supposed to look like, sound like, taste like, and how they fit within it. We have a lot of work to do to make sure, not only that our children’s minds are filled with accurate knowledge, but also that their hearts and spirits are filled with motivation to work with others to make the world a more just and equitable place for everyone.

Mothers who hold multiple privileged identities, who have children who share multiple privileged identities, are uniquely situated to play a significant role in dismantling systemic oppression. For far too long, that physical, emotional and psychological labor has been done primarily by women of color. As moms, we all want our children to grow up to be the best possible version of themselves. For me, that begins and ends with teaching them not just about being kind, thoughtful, caring, and self-reflective, but that they learn how to do those things intentionally in the context of our country and the world as it is today. We should have stepped up a long time ago. I should have stepped up a long time ago, as well.

I want to connect with more white moms who are having or want to have critical conversations with their white kids about social justice issues. I want to have conversations with parents across race, sexual orientation, gender identity, ability, socioeconomic status, and other critical identities, beyond the ways I self-identify. I want to take meaningful action in partnership with other parents in my community who want to help manifest social justice locally.  I want to explore and enact the myriad opportunities to engage kids in this work in age appropriate ways.

My two year old, for example, has some significant developmental milestones to reach before we start talking about big social justice issues! Still, there are ways to be mindful about the messages she absorbs with respect to race, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability and so on. I can make choices at this stage about the clothes she wears, the toys she plays with, the books we read, the shows we watch, the games we play, and the comments she overhears from adults. It all matters. It lays the foundation for how she perceives the world and her place in it.

My eight year old, on the other hand, has a better understanding of some social justice issues than many adults that I know. This is a child who tries to educate her friends about cultural appropriation in Halloween costumes. She has written to elected officials, asking them to advocate for a friends’ family members being held overseas. She has expressed outrage at gender binary bathrooms (“What about bathrooms for everyone else? Gender nonconforming and transgender people? That is SO not fair!”). She spent a Fun Friday afternoon at school making Black Lives Matter posters.

She is really hard on herself when she realizes that she said something or behaved in a way that was culturally insensitive. I’m so proud of her for recognizing it in the first place! And then we talk about the fact that I do it, too, and that instead of feeling bad forever about it, we can acknowledge our behavior, figure out how to do better, and get back to doing good work. It is a work in progress. Maybe we are all works in progress.

At the center of it all is a constant reminder that we white moms need to do this work internally. We need to pay better attention to, and feel deeply the pain that whiteness causes. Even if we are resistant to acknowledging our participation in and maintenance of systems that privilege us (and simultaneously oppress others), let’s hold space for the possibility that it is true… because it really, really is.

Are you with me in making this your New Year’s Revolution, too? If you are, please reach out. Email me at dr.m.monahan@gmail.com, subject line: Social Justice Kids! Let’s share resources, thoughts, struggles and solutions.

Some great resources…

I am grateful for resources such as the Oakland Public Library’s “Talking to Kids About Racism and Justice”, the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Teaching Tolerance, and the ADL’s Anti-Bias Resources for Educators and Parents. They provide invaluable tools. The work of scholar and activist Dr. Debbie Reese, a Nambe Pueblo Indian woman and editor of American Indians in Children’s Literature, helps me develop the knowledge and skills to advocate for more accurate curriculum at my daughters’ schools, and how to better choose the books we read at home. Dr. Kathy Obear and the Rev. Dr. Jamie Washington developed the Social Justice Training Institute, which is a transformative experience. If you haven’t participated in the past, consider applying! Dr. Kathy Obear’s book, “…But I’m Not Racist! Tools for Well Meaning Whites,” is igniting critical thought and action in predominantly white communities across the country. Special thanks to Kathryn Fort, J.D., at the Indigenous Law and Policy Center at Michigan State University who generously engaged my every question on the harmful misrepresentation of Indigenous Nations and individuals in K-12 curriculum. Our early conversations helped to spark what is now my growing passion for doing this work with kids, parents, and teachers.